After a grueling day, reaching for those comforting chocolate chip cookies that remind you of home might seem like the last thing you should do—right? Maybe not, according to Jennifer Rollin, the founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, Maryland.

In the realm of health and nutrition, emotional eating often carries a stigma. It’s frequently portrayed as something dangerous, unhealthy, or indicative of a lack of control. However, Rollin suggests that emotional eating is far more common than we might think and can even play a role in a healthy relationship with food.

“Eating driven by emotions is normal,” says Rollin, “and it doesn’t always have to be negative. It can be part of a balanced and healthy approach to food.”

Understanding Emotional Eating

Food is inherently tied to our emotions. From cultural traditions to social connections and celebrations, food is often at the center of our most meaningful experiences. As Rollin points out, “Our lives are centered around food. It can be deeply comforting and is often intertwined with nostalgia and sentimentality.”

Daisy Miller, a weight-inclusive eating disorder dietitian based in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania, agrees. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing the nuances in our relationship with food. Rather than demonizing emotional eating, she suggests embracing it as a natural part of human experience—while also being mindful of when it might become unhealthy.

“It’s essential to understand the context,” Miller says. “Are you eating to savor something delicious after a tough day, or to celebrate a milestone? Or are you using food to avoid addressing a deeper issue?”

The Pitfalls of Viewing Food as Merely Fuel

In recent years, there’s been a push to view food primarily as fuel—a source of energy that keeps our bodies running efficiently. While this perspective emphasizes the nutritional value of food, experts like Rollin caution against stripping food of its emotional and social significance.

“Yes, food is fuel,” Rollin acknowledges. “But it’s also so much more than that. When we become too focused on eating only the most nutrient-dense foods, we might miss out on the joy, pleasure, and connection that food can bring.”

For example, if you adopt the mindset that food is only fuel, you might skip dessert with friends because it doesn’t align with your strict dietary goals. However, as Rollin points out, “Social relationships are one of the biggest predictors of health and longevity. Sometimes, the healthiest choice is the one that nurtures our connections with others.”

Another risk associated with a restrictive approach to food is the potential for binge eating. Natalie Mokari, a registered dietitian in Charlotte, North Carolina, explains that bingeing often stems from a cycle of deprivation and overindulgence.

“Bingeing is usually a result of thinking, ‘I shouldn’t do this, but I’m going to do it, and I’m going to do it in excess because I won’t allow myself to have it again,’” Mokari says. “It’s a feast-or-famine mentality.”

When Emotional Eating Becomes a Concern

While emotional eating can be a normal part of life, it can become problematic if it’s your primary method of coping with stress, sadness, or other difficult emotions. Miller advises being mindful of how often you turn to food as a coping mechanism and whether you have other strategies in place to process your emotions.

There are warning signs that indicate when emotional eating might be crossing into unhealthy territory. These include eating large quantities of food in a short period, feeling out of control, experiencing guilt or shame after eating, eating in secret, and consistently eating past the point of fullness.

“If you’re eating more than you’re comfortable with and then engaging in behaviors like restricting, purging, or compulsive exercise, that’s a sign that your relationship with food might be problematic,” Rollin adds.

Recalibrating Your Relationship with Food

Developing a healthy relationship with food involves finding a balance between flexibility and discipline. Mokari suggests that the key is to give yourself permission to enjoy all kinds of food without feeling out of control or guilty.

The first step towards a healthier relationship with emotional eating is mindfulness. Instead of mindlessly reaching for food or strictly avoiding it, take a moment to consider what purpose the food is serving. Are you eating because you’re bored or stressed? Or are you partaking in a family tradition or celebrating a special occasion?

Rollin advises that mindfulness can also help you align your eating habits with your values. “Is it more important to you to be someone who skips cake at a birthday party, or someone who enjoys the moment with loved ones? Are you avoiding underlying issues, or are you working through them while still enjoying food?”

Miller encourages approaching your relationship with food with curiosity rather than judgment. “Think of it like being a detective gathering data about yourself,” she suggests. “Is emotional eating becoming a problem? Are you using food as your only coping mechanism? Are there deeper issues that need to be addressed?”

If you find that your relationship with food is causing distress, it might be time to seek help from a professional. Miller emphasizes the importance of consulting with a therapist or dietitian who specializes in disordered eating and takes a weight-inclusive, anti-diet approach.

“Working with the right professional can help you process your emotions without feeling shame or guilt,” Miller says. “It’s about developing a healthier, more compassionate relationship with food.”

In the end, the goal is to approach food with balance and mindfulness—nourishing not just your body, but also your soul and your relationships.